How to Find Effective Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is sometimes needed for couples who are struggling in their relationship. You may think that things are good, but the relationship is still rocky.

You might’ve tried different therapists before, but things really haven’t gotten better.

What do you do then?

In that case, seeking out the proper therapist is your best bet.  Sometimes the problem is not enough commitment, and sometimes the therapist isn't right for you.

If you’re struggling to find a competent therapist, or maybe you just want to start with couples therapy, here are some tips and tricks to really getting the most out of your therapist, and how to find one that works for you.

Find one Who is Trained in This

Not every therapist is a couples therapist. Some of them haven’t had the training or supervision in certain therapy types. Not all therapists have the same training. A drug counselor and a couples therapist have different kinds of training.

Some therapists haven’t gotten the right supervision from therapists to make sure that the techniques they use will work to change the relationship.  It is good to find one who is trained in it.

When looking for a couples therapist, find one trained in the following:

·        The Gottman method for couples

·        Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

·        The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy

·        Discernment Counseling

·        Integrative Behavioral Couples therapy

·        Relational Life Therapy

These aren’t the only couples therapies out there, but these are indeed the best kinds of therapy for you to enjoy, and a lot that you can definitely get more out of.

Look in Directories

You want to look in directors, such as the ones in Psychology Today to help you with this.

You should look for therapists that fit your beliefs,especially if you need one who is included in your gender identity or the way you express it.

You should look at reviews, and see if whether or not they fit you.

You also may want to look into ones people recommend, and if they have a proven track record, it can be quite useful.

You also may want to look at one of them in the way that they align with what you're looking for. You also may want to find a couples therapist that fits your budget too because a few of them will charge for their service, especially if you’re not in network.

Interview Them

Next, consider looking at whether they’re a good fit for you. You can ask them about the training that you've gotten in couple’s therapy, and what percentage of the work they do is with couples.

You can inquire about divorce, how much they recommend it,and what are the reasons for doing so.

You can ask them about the couples that they’ve helped,especially those who have improved because of therapy. You can ask them about the changes which incurred as a result of the therapy practices.

Finally, if you’re seeking out a couples therapist to help with non-monogamy, expressions of sexuality or gender identity, or even BDSM and kink-friendly discourse, ask them about that too.

This way, you can get a feel for the therapist. If they find it weird you’re interviewing them, just explain you’ve had bad experiences with previous counselors and are looking for a good fit.

Try a Session Out

Next, you want to try out a session with this counselor.At first, it might be awkward, and you may end up wanting to drop out early.

Don’t do that.

That’s because most people who stick with therapy end up improving in the long term. Dropping out early doesn’t fix the problem, and sticking with it can show a lot of changes.

Think about it, can you just change major parts of your life with the drop of a hat? Not necessarily and therapy is one of those things. You will not get to the root problem of your problems within the first couple of sessions. It might take a lot more than that to hit the nail on the head with those major problems.  You should try to commit to about eight to ten sessions to determine whether or not the therapy is right for you, and if this person is working out for you.

Things may not occur at first, and it can be a bit scary,but understanding that sticking with it is how you get the results is very important, and sometimes, you have to scratch the surface on the issue before the real meat is discovered.

Remember This is Your Therapy

Finally, come to terms with what you’re doing, and understand that this is your relationship and therapy and you have to understand that working with someone can be a bit daunting.

Sometimes it’s scary to admit to someone what the problems are, and sometimes understand that you have to be honest with the therapist too.

You should make sure to find out what you need, and express it in a way that conveys the problem. Some therapists do inadvertently misunderstand people, and if it is misunderstood, try to explain it. Therapists normally don’t do this because they’re big meanies or something, but its a miscommunication. This is especially true when you’re getting therapy for something that’s a sore subject, or with your partner and it’s an embarrassing thing.

This is something that you’ve got to work out for yourself. If it doesn’t work, then move on.

Also understand that everyone is different. What may work for one couple may not work for another couple, and part of the game of couples therapy is to ensure that you learn what works for you so you can adjust how you approach the relationship.

Plenty of people get couples therapy to help with the major problems, and for some people, this is a blessing. You want to make sure that you do consider this option if you are looking for something to help with relationship issues.